This is a topic that I think is really important for every parent to learn about. As a whole, most adults have a hard time validating the emotions of children. Adults get angry, sad, happy, and every other emotion that can be felt. We have had the time to learn how to handle these feelings and we have been made hard by the society we are in. Children feel all of these same emotions, so passionately, but have no idea how to handle and express these feelings. Often what comes out of it is what so many people describe as tantrums and people look at these children as if they are giving their parents a hard time. They aren’t giving us a hard time, they are having a hard time!
One of my favorite quotes is, “Tantrums are not bad behavior. Tantrums are an expression of emotion that became too much for the child to bear. No punishment is required. What your child needs is compassion and safe, loving arms to unload in.” -Rebecca Eanes.
This is the biggest truth that so many people have been led to not believe. What I want you all to get out of this is that children don’t have the emotional intelligence that we do but they certainly deserve our respect. Most children just want to be heard and understood. Open communication allows them to explain what they need and lets the frustration and tension evaporate. This is one of the times I can really appreciate Unschooling. A basic principal of it is allowing a child to express themselves and accepting it. Children react so much better to positive reinforcement and love compared to punishment and an, ‘I’m the adult, you’re a child, I’m right, you’re wrong,’ mentality.
If you get anything out of this, just realize that when you tell a child their feelings are wrong or don’t matter it’s like if someone were to tell you that your very much valid emotions are wrong. How would you feel? Multiply that feeling by 100 and imagine not having any way to deal with it. You’d be crying, screaming, and panicking too.
Thank you for reading my lovely readers! Feel free to comment bellow.