Attachment Parenting and The Adult Relationship

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I just have to say before I really get into this, I didn’t realize it until now but Corey and I have not taken a single photo together without Caleb since he was born. I looked through both of our phones and every single picture of us together has Caleb as well. So, my goal for today is to take a picture with Corey and without Caleb. Other than this though, our relationship is never better.

As someone who supports Co-sleeping and Bed Sharing I am always getting asked, “How do you have time for sex?” The reality is, sharing a bed with your child doesn’t mean that they are constantly in bed with you. We make the time to do the deed. Caleb is perfectly safe playing in the living room for ten minutes. It’s not like people only have sex once they go to bed. Nothing would get done if that was the case. If you are like me, you’d have to get up after every time, probably waking yourself up too much, and not being able to sleep again right away. Don’t fear not having sex. If you want to be intimate with your significant other, let your kid play alone for a minute and take the time out to spend some alone time. It confuses me as to why people even have to ask.

Another thing that people think is going to be affected is “date night.” I’d like to start by saying, not everyone needs to be away from their child on date night. I LOVE that Caleb is usually with us. We are a family, we all love each other dearly, and it doesn’t hurt Corey and I’s relationship to bring him with us. On another hand though, we can certainly go out without him. Just because I’m nursing and we are an attached family doesn’t mean Caleb has to be with us 24/7. It is okay for me to pump for an evening away. It’s okay for him to be with someone besides me. I’d prefer that someone be family that he’s known for a long time but even a trusted friend or nearly stranger can work out as long as they understand how I parent and will treat my child the same way I do.

One last thing is that some men resent their other half when they become so attached to their child. Well, here’s the thing about that, it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry but the child is and will always be the most important thing. I’m all for giving your other half attention, and it is healthy to do so, but if anything that makes your child comfortable or happy is sacrificed to make him less grumpy then it isn’t worth it. Try to get him as involved as you though. Explain to him why you do what you do. Let him burp baby or feed solids when the time comes. Have dad wear the little one. A lot of men that do it feel a much stronger connection to their little one. I am so grateful to have a guy by my side that supports this style of parenting. I hope you all get the same experience that I have.

Thank You for Reading!

 

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