Every other year my uncle and I go to Soul Fest which is a Christian music festival in New Hampshire. This year was the first year for Caleb and Corey; it was their first concert(s) in general. We all had a wonderful time, saw and heard some fantastic bands (Caleb and my favorite being Manic Drive), ate delicious “fair” food, and got to go wading in a pond. Caleb got a shirt that, although way too long, is his favorite to wear for bed. Corey got a few different band related things. I got to meet Manic Drive and get a picture with them while totally fangirling.
The funny thing is leading up to the festival all we heard was, “You’re sure you want to bring him? He’s going to make it so much less fun. Why would you bring him?” I held my resolve though and told them I knew he’d do just fine and would love the music. There was this idea being tossed at me that I couldn’t have fun with my toddler. Why not though? I like music, he likes music. I had his stroller so he didn’t slow us down and it was easier carrying things around that way. I need to stay in the shade and take as many breaks as him. Any reason they could give me was just wrong, and had me totally boggled. I have the MOST fun when he’s with me. He helps me see things from different angles. Watching him dance is a thousand times more fun than dancing myself. Normally at the end I would feel exhausted, sun burnt, and have a migraine. Since I had to keep him out of the sun, take a few more breaks, and stand farther from the stage, I got to enjoy all of the shows and left feeling excited and healthy. Taking him along was a real blessing.
This isn’t something I’ve only heard about concerts. I’ve heard how I need to take more breaks because I can’t have as much fun with him. I’ve never had as much fun in my life as I do now while I’m with him. I’ve heard that I should go out with more adults and leave him with someone. Why though? For some people that sounds like fun, but for me, I don’t drink, I don’t like clubs, I don’t like being in big groups… Staying home with Caleb IS fun for me. Going to a play group or the library makes me genuinely happy. Why is that considered so taboo or “wrong?” I don’t have an answer for you to be honest. All I can say is, look for the joy in spending time with your kiddos. They truly grow up too quickly, you will have time to go “be an adult” without them soon enough. You can’t get these moments back!
Disclaimer: In no way am I saying not to take time to yourself. I totally understand needing a break. Just don’t feel pressured into it, nor pressure others into it.