Don’t Take Now for Granted

Imagine everything in your life being perfect. Your parents are happy, after months/years of fighting to get there, everything just falls into place. They paid off their truck, got the job of their dreams, received their passport, and ordered a sweet new pug dog, all in one magical day. You’re getting the chance to make good money, and doing so in a way that makes you happy. It’s the day before Valentine’s day, and everyone is thinking about dates, but not you. You’re just happy to spend your night watching Degrassi and sleeping with a sweet puppy all while keeping an eye on two sweet kiddos. Not a care in the world, no idea that anything could go wrong. You don’t thank anyone for this great day. It’s just another day, and tomorrow will be even better, you are so sure of this.

Until it’s not. Suddenly your world crumbles. No one will tell you what happened until you beg. Your mother tells you that your other parent has died. You ask how, but you don’t really want to know, because you already do. You pray that it was an accident, but it wasn’t. You don’t know what comes next, but you can never get yesterday back, and you want it. You want to go back and make today impossible, but you just can’t…

Every year around her birthday I can feel the wave of depression fold over me, but I try my best to ignore it all. Today, the emotions are just pouring out. When I woke up and jumped on Facebook I stumbled across two different posts, and both make me ugly cry like I haven’t in apparently not long enough. The stories were sad of course, but it was the underlying message that’s really kicking my emotional butt today.

The message was how easy it is to take what we have for granted. Of course it is though. We don’t know what comes next, we don’t know what others are going through or have been through, and we don’t know what we’ll one day miss either. It’s easy to be envious of others. It’s easy to only see what is now. Most of the time, I’m all for that. Today I just can’t stop thinking, man I miss it. I miss having these incredible people be in my life. I can’t help myself from missing my moms. I can’t help myself from wishing that there was a way to have them here now.

Here’s the thing though, I really have to add a big however to this whole thing. As much as I miss my moms, and as much as I wish they were in my current life, I don’t regret anything. I don’t wish that I could go back and change things, because my life would be very different today. I wouldn’t have met Corey, I wouldn’t have Caleb, and my life wouldn’t be on this incredibly rewarding path. Everything really happens for a reason. Everything. It doesn’t mean you aren’t going to feel pain. It doesn’t mean you won’t be angry or sad. It just means we have to really cherish every single person and thing in our lives, because in the next moment they could be gone. It’s cliched, I know, but it’s so true.

Today I’m going to snuggle Caleb just a little bit tighter. I’m going to make the most of today, and try to remember to thank the people I care about for being in my life more often. I’m going to try to be thankful that I have all of these amazing blessings around. I am so privileged to be alive… but gosh do I miss my mothers.

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The Best Human Being I Know

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This incredible human being is someone we lovingly call Mimi. Her name is Misti, and she was born on February 6th, 1967. Her younger sister, Robyn, was my mother. Now, Mimi is the woman I consider my mother, and my child’s grandmother. I am one of at least 21 people who feel this way, despite not being grown in her womb.

As a child, I spent an incredible amount of time at her house. A good chunk of age three and four, and every weekend or school holiday through sixth grade I was guaranteed to be at her house. She had these super powers to know whenever I was about to get in trouble for something from my parents, she would just appear and grab me up. I’ve heard stories of when I was a baby, my mum put my diaper on way to tight once, and my legs were losing circulation. She appeared and remedied the situation immediately.

This amazing woman was not only my savior, but a savior to many other children. Her and my uncle made a choice early on in their marriage that they wanted children. Not being able to conceive originally led them to look into fostering. When they went in to start, they were told to look around their neighborhood, and that’s just what they did. This woman ended up taking in children, with a variety of ages and special needs, at least twenty one times. She never received any help from the state, but gave them, and me, the most amazing childhoods. There was one kid that they took in who had many problems… He was still wetting the bed, and on many medications when he first came to them. By the time he left, they had gotten him off all of those medications and helped him grow into a strong, hardworking man.

She took me camping, taught me to cook, showed me how to shave my legs, and what a body positive attitude looked like. She showed me that growing your own food is magical, how relationships are supposed to feel, and that you should never be ashamed for how your brain and body work. She taught me how to love, forgive, and move on. Never once did she ask for anything in return. Her entire life has been about giving.

When my moms died, six and a half years ago, there was no question. I went straight home with her that night. Not only had she just lost her sister, but she now had to deal with a teenager who lost her parents, and wasn’t overly willing to gain a new one. She was so ready to be my parent, and give me the world, but I was not ready to let someone be my parent. I had spent so much time being an adult that reverting back to a child was hard for both of us. I did things I wasn’t proud of, but she never stopped loving me and fighting for me. When others told her to give up, or spoke harshly about me, she stood her ground and defended me.

She has been through more hardship than the average person, and dealt with a lot of selfish ungratefulness. She now has a biological daughter, and still gives her love to others. Her home is open to those in need, and she’s the first to offer help when people are in trouble. She finds herself hurt on a regular bases, but continues to have a shining heart.

My Mimi is the most amazing person in the world. The picture I chose is one she might not like, but I truly love it. Her smile, watching my son and her daughter open their Christmas presents, is so genuine. It’s a reflection of who she truly is. It shows her inner beauty, as well as outer. I love her, and just want her to know how grateful I am to have her as my mom.